We made it out of Santa Monica alive, passing through a series of just...different things. I rolled the window down and partially stuck my head out, resting it on my limp arm. The music blared loudly through my speakers. By now, they've been halfway blown out and only a loud, static buzz is all I hear at volume 34.
I closed my eyes and felt the cool breeze running past my face. A collective mixture of restaurants, cafes, and bars all passed by as we sped on through the green lights - all oddly shaped and oddly named.
"I want to go there," I pointed. "Annnnnd...there." I pointed again.
At some point, I reverted back into my Millennial tendencies and withdrew into my phone. I read - let's be honest - skimmed through an article on Facebook. "11-Year-Old Chinese Boy Donates Organs to Other Patients on Deathbed." I softly told George about the little boy who suffered from a brain tumor and my voice cracked. Without warning, I felt the tears rolling from my eyes and down my cheeks. The floodgates have been opened. A swell of sadness hit my chest with a sharp pain and I sobbed a little more. I fucking lost it.
After a few minutes, I got over it and started thinking about how many beaches and cities we've driven through in the course of the past 15 minutes. I even saw a Fry's Electronics somewhere in what I guessed to be Manhattan Beach. I scoffed and smiled at that. We were both tired and wanted to head home. It was less of a death trap driving locally than being stuck in a gridlock on the freeways. Rush hour in So-Cal is like staring at an anatomical chart of the region. All blood-red veins marked on every highway, with several accidents and questionable icons that I had yet to identify as anything good.
I peeked my head back out again and breathed in the salty air. We stopped at a traffic light and I watched the Domino's employees make their pizzas for delivery. One worker saw me, and lit up in a smile as he waved his arm back and forth. I returned the wave as the light turned green.
I later had a mini meltdown in which I promptly threw my phone out of my room. It was the heavy medication that they've had me on, and it really got me ransacking through the subconscious closet of my brain. Every thought was an article of clothing, hung crookedly on a colored plastic hanger. I tore through this closet and threw everything out. I didn't need those. I haven't worn these things in a while, and it was time to get rid of it all. I confronted and confided in two people I love very much about my pain. What I have been carrying on my shoulders, I finally got off my chest. It felt amazing.
Now moving onto what I'm currently watching...
